I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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