you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
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Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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