walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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