I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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