my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just puked most of my soul out..
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