hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize