Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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