The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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