So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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