Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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