Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

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  (313): I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/f8bv
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that

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  (413): his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that http://tfl.nu/fcpw
  Replies (6) Good night (561) Bad night (2137) Order T-Shirt
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  (426): View more from

  i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair

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  (426): i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair http://tfl.nu/09nr
  Replies (16) Good night (807) Bad night (4870) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.

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  (201): I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself. http://tfl.nu/c8lm
  Replies (12) Good night (1246) Bad night (3717) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?

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  (434): because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july? http://tfl.nu/9gcl
  Replies (43) Good night (6831) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.

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  (401): I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type. http://tfl.nu/97ap
  Replies (4) Good night (2328) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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  (602): just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober http://tfl.nu/68n1
  Replies (10) Good night (2984) Bad night (929)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"

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  (712): she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays" http://tfl.nu/bldx
  Replies (4) Good night (2350) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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  (303): They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome. http://tfl.nu/wbzs
  Replies (23) Good night (4048) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters

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  (708): They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters http://tfl.nu/nwd9
  Replies (2) Good night (1000) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Wanna skype?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.

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  (425): Wanna skype? (1-425): Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no. http://tfl.nu/gc87
  Replies (7) Good night (2279) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?

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  (518): The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right? http://tfl.nu/fa38
  Replies (8) Good night (1001) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.

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  (303): Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish. http://tfl.nu/hxa3
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Most creative movie date proposition... ever.

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  (630): Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes? (708): Most creative movie date proposition... ever. http://tfl.nu/whek
  Replies (5) Good night (1394) Bad night (602)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

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  (330): Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship? http://tfl.nu/gnhb
  Replies (1) Good night (676) Bad night (160)

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