I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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