i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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