Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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