i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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