Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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