I looked at my own cervix.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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