No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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