god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize