dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize