i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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