Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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