:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
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I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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