Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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