this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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