Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize