great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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