i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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