just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
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God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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