He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
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GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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