just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
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I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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