We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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