i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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