I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm just crazy horny about you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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