Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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