my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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