He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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