good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize