Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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