I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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