I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
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His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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