That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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