That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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