I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize