Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Bring me that man meat
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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