sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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