Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
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Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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