Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize