so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize