This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize